This is the first draft of my extended essay.
Any comments or corrections you have would be greatly appreciated! And feel free to make them directly on the document (Just make them noticeable, please.)
The areas I'd like specific help with are the conclusion (It's awful and corny. You'll see.), citation (right now I only have each author's name in the text. Should I also include the name of the article or piece of writing I'm referring to?), and most importantly, the overall feel/message of the paper. I'm concerned that I haven't actually said anything...
Thanks for your help!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Sorry to be personal and totally off topic, but how old are you? It's really hard to find people in Kentucky who aren't over twenty.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your essay. You had some really good points. As far as citation goes, I'm clueless. I have a book that should help; I'll bring it to class tomorrow, and we can work on both of our citations. (I completely forgot about doing mine.) I highlighted a few words in red that i thought could be a little more specific or sounded a little bit awkward. The conclusion is a wee bit corny, but that is always the hardest part for me to write. Sometimes it helps me to refer back to my introductory paragraph and restate parts of the intro. If you want, I can help you with it some tomorrow during class. I really liked your piece overall. Good job =)
ReplyDeleteThanks for your help, Nicole! Those are all really good points you made. I'm going to work on that conclusion now...=)
ReplyDeleteAnd Hi, Hannah! I'm 19 years old. If you like my blog, you should check out some of the blogs that I follow. We're all in the same English class and writing about the same issues. You might find it interesting. =)
I really enjoyed your essay, Sadie! I liked the quotes that you picked, because they complemented your essay perfectly. You also added a personal element to yours, which was nice to read about. I think you really do have a message, and your ideas seemed fairly organized. Surprisingly, I did something similar in my conclusion; I also mentioned "how you read...what you read". However, if you're worried about it being corny, sometimes it helps to step back and look at your paper a day or two later, and you might have a better grasp of what you'd like to say in the conclusion, or in other paragraphs.
ReplyDelete